Stardate 0520.10

Is it my mistake or are the Pirates playing some semi-decent ball right now? O sure they're 18-22 but then again this could be the year...ummm ok nevermind....

Another Descent Into...

The Back-Up Plan(2010)-

Well I saw a chic flick. Readers, don't be alarmed, it was with my girlfriend. Surprisingly, I was drawn into this little tale of decision making and togetherness. It begins as the one and only J-LO decide to become artificially inseminated. From there, she has her cab taken from a guy(Alex O'Laughlin) and then it all begins.

You see, all around NYC, someone is searching, searching for her. The entity goes through all those who oppose it. As J-LO and Alex begin to fall for each other, the entity finds them on his cheese farm upstate. Through the cloak of night the entity comes to steal her baby...well make that babies since she is carrying twins.

Needless to say, they take off and the entity persues them. Well they come to find out the entity is J-LO's father who ran off when her mother passed away from cancer. Turns out he feels she's not worthy of children since she couldn't find a good man to begin with. Naturally, people die. From cheese guy's former crush to J-LO's nana..

It comes down to a final showdown between one half of Bennifer and the entity(played by Mr. C himself Tom Bosley)....I must say for a chick flick this was something I can enjoy.. The action...the explosions...The final lightsaber duel at the end...It's not a perfect film, there is the typical sappiness when Cheese Guy gets dumped but the blood and gore more than make up for it....

Ok, so now that I've given my fake review. If you're girlfriend likes these kinda movies, she'll like this....

For Gals 7.5/10

For Guys 0/10

Shock Waves(1977)-

Ok, Shock Waves, help me get rid of this perfumey stench of J-LO and her evil twins out of my head. You're about a group of Nazi Zombies come to life. You have Grand Moff Tarkin for christsakes...You should be good...

BUZZZZZZZZZZ

WRONG!!!

This movie is BORING!!! The action is laughable. The acting is ehhh to say the least. If there is no blood in a horror film, it doesn't automatically disqualify it from being a terrible film but you'd better have a good story to make up for that deficency. This movie doesn't to it. It's tedious to view. Towards the end, the action picks up a little bit but not much.

How the zombies die is laughable to say the least. GIMME A BREAK! It's a good thing Peter Cushing had a bit more success with his next film otherwise I fear he would have died penniless. This movie can and should be put in the ground and buried along with House of the Devil. Underground classic, my ass!!!

2/10

15 Things You May, May Not, or Don't Care to Know About Me-

Last week, I wrote ten things about myself. Well here's 15 more....

1. I was 6th grade class vice-president

2. I was a member of the safety patrol(sixth and seventh grades were magical years of my youth)

3. The first album I ever bought was Def Leppard's Hysteria

4. I played three years of Little League

5. I am NOT related to President James K.Polk

6. I have met and had my picture taken with Mick Foley a.k.a. Mankind

7. I rather domesticated. I can cook, clean, and do laundry all on my own

8. I didn't get my driver's license until this past March

9. My first favorite toy was a stuffed Oscar the Grouch my grandpa bought for me.

10. I am 1-4 in Pittsburgh Pirates games I've attended

11. I'm working on a full-length police procedural novel entitled A Primitive Glow

12. I believe there are extraterrestrial beings

13. I don't believe any -ism is the path to success.

14. My favorite author is Stephen King

15. I am a chessecake whore

The Cinema Snob-

Want to know the worst movie ever made other than Titanic? Well The Cinema Snob reviewed a few years back. Enjoy

Now that you've wondered if I really need that medication, here's this week's episode,Deathrow Gameshow. Warning, Snob gets naked...again....gawd help us....

My dad watched this film upon its release to VHS back in the late-80s. He said he ROTFLMAO. Ok, dad I'll take your word for it. A fairly good review from Senor Snob. I think he's within a gnat's eyelash from Jillian,his wife, signing over the insanity papers to the state.

Goodnight Babydoll.....